Stillborn

My, it has been a crazy few weeks.  They feel like a blur.

Part of the blur began with a friend of mine having her baby boy sent to heaven too soon.  She was 22 weeks pregnant and had to give birth to him stillborn and I was there to help support and take pictures of their precious son Elijah Matthew.  Out of respect for my friend I will not give their last name or put any photos of them or their son on here.  Let's just say I think that was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life but it is nothing compared to what they went through.  We were able to get a hold of someone from Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep who was gracious enough to come help take better photos of their son.  She helped give me pointers on taking some photographs, though I pray that none of my friends will ever have to go through this again.  My friends will see their son again in heaven.  He just made it home before they did.  Elijah Matthew is being cradled in the arms of God!

Here are some of the songs that I picked out to be played at the funeral:

Still by Gerrit Hofsink

Smallest Wingless by Craig Cardiff

He's My Son by Mark Schultz

Homesick by Mercy Me

Borrowed Angels by Kristin Chenoweth

Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne

With Hope by Steven Curtis Chapman

Need To Let Go by Jonah33

Home by Chris Daughtry

Fly by Celine Dion

Never Be Forgotten by Jessica Andrews

Remembering You by Steven Curtis Chapman

There are more songs that would be fitting these are just some that I thought were fitting considering the situation.

Here are some quotes and verses that I thought were also fitting:

"An angel in the Book of life wrote down my babies birth...than whispered as she closed the book, Too beautiful for Earth." -Unknown

 "There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this Earth." -Unknown

For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body, all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13, 15-16

It has been a few weeks since we said hello and goodbye to Elijah Matthew.  I can still see his lovely face and he had the most perfect hands and feet.  Until I knew this little angel I had no idea that there are about 30-40 thousand stillborn births every year.  This is more common than SIDS, though no matter how you lose a child it still hurts.  We have also had a different friend lose her child to SIDS.

If you know anyone who has lost a child due to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or by some other means, please be sensitive to them.  You have to think that once they know they are pregnant that child is now loved by them.  Some children are just 'borrowed angels.'  They can touch your life before you even 'meet' them. If you don't know what to say, say that.  Make a meal for them, give them a sympathy card, or just be there to cry with them. 

There are some out there that believe that if a baby doesn't take a breath than the baby isn't a life.  Well I beg to differ.  When that child moves inside you, has a name, is loved, that is a life.  From the moment of conception that child is a life.  If you are one who believes that a baby isn't a life, you still need to be compassionate towards someone who has lost a child.  I just pray that people realize that a life inside the womb is still a life. 

I am sorry to go off and get 'political' but this is how I feel.  I have seen what a little precious life looks like and feels like.  I have had three children of my own and know the feelings you have when pregnant and feeling that life move inside you.  Life is so precious and dear.  Cherish the moments you have with your children.  If you are one who has suffered loss, you are not alone, your feelings are valid and your child is special.

Please pray for those who have lost a child.  

*This is a photo of a picture that was on her hospital door.  It was somewhat symbolic, a fallen leaf with a dew/tear drop.

 

*This beanie baby bear is the same size as the baby and this is what we took photos of with the baby having his hand on it.